you're so dumb. i've thought you were the coolest person alive since we were thirteen, but do you think i know what the hell i want at that age? seriously? denial's cool, i live with it a lot after that stupid fucked up game. ignoring feelings for you was just as easy, because you were still my best friend and i'm fucking terrified of the possibility of being anything but straight. and i'm not okay with it. i'm not. i'm not okay with liking a dude, and i'm not alright with any of the shit at all that comes with it. but that doesn't mean that i have to like watching you with some guy, and that doesn't mean i won't get stupidly jealous about it. it just means that i have to shut up and deal and worry about whatever the hell it is i have going on in my head. heart. whatever.
no subject
i've thought you were the coolest person alive since we were thirteen, but do you think i know what the hell i want at that age? seriously?
denial's cool, i live with it a lot after that stupid fucked up game. ignoring feelings for you was just as easy, because you were still my best friend and i'm fucking terrified of the possibility of being anything but straight.
and i'm not okay with it. i'm not. i'm not okay with liking a dude, and i'm not alright with any of the shit at all that comes with it.
but that doesn't mean that i have to like watching you with some guy, and that doesn't mean i won't get stupidly jealous about it.
it just means that i have to shut up and deal and worry about whatever the hell it is i have going on in my head.
heart.
whatever.
like i said, forget it.