TG: sup
TG: cant answer since im off doing my own thing right now so leave a message
TG: tz this isnt where you get to hang out all day and hump my cherry sweet words like a color addict on a crack fix get out and stop licking this entry already girl
TG: later
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fuck
im sitting here with my head in a hand trying to calm down
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i've thought you were the coolest person alive since we were thirteen, but do you think i know what the hell i want at that age? seriously?
denial's cool, i live with it a lot after that stupid fucked up game. ignoring feelings for you was just as easy, because you were still my best friend and i'm fucking terrified of the possibility of being anything but straight.
and i'm not okay with it. i'm not. i'm not okay with liking a dude, and i'm not alright with any of the shit at all that comes with it.
but that doesn't mean that i have to like watching you with some guy, and that doesn't mean i won't get stupidly jealous about it.
it just means that i have to shut up and deal and worry about whatever the hell it is i have going on in my head.
heart.
whatever.
like i said, forget it.
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davesprites a pretty good example of what id do for you
give up everything and ruin my life if i could save yours
and if youd have said this stuff back then
who knows
he certainly cares about you to the point where he hates himself for not being enough anymore
i wont forget any of this
youre late as hell but that doesnt mean i dont care if youre hurting
i do
its just not okay to tell me youre jealous when i had to force myself to move on from you
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i'm sorry, dave.
i never should have said anything.
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youre my best bro and i want to know where you stand
i need to talk to gamzee thats all
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no, why?
why can't this just be left alone or whatever.
seriously we've gone this many years without talking about it, can't we just ignore it again.
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i dont want to lie to him about this
and i dont even dislike you in the slightest over this so its no big deal
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yeah.
look, i should go.
bye, dude.
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im coming over later to see you though
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john
please??
catch you later i guess
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