alphaing: (yeah i guess so)
dave ϟ strider (turntechGodhead) ([personal profile] alphaing) wrote2011-12-21 11:01 pm

ic ϟ contact (drs/games/etc.)


TG: sup
TG: cant answer since im off doing my own thing right now so leave a message
TG: tz this isnt where you get to hang out all day and hump my cherry sweet words like a color addict on a crack fix get out and stop licking this entry already girl
TG: later

[personal profile] ex_inherit667 2012-01-25 01:51 pm (UTC)(link)
idk.
i was going to just mess with you at first but like.

why am i jealous that you're dating someone?
like haha that's so dumb.
we're just friends, it's stupid, right?
right, dave?

[personal profile] ex_inherit667 2012-01-25 01:54 pm (UTC)(link)
it's not a fucking joke i'm freaking out a bit here.

[personal profile] ex_inherit667 2012-01-25 01:56 pm (UTC)(link)
because i'm supposed to like, be supportive and happy for you and shit like that.
that's what best friends do.
and instead i just feel...
idk.
idk....

[personal profile] ex_inherit667 2012-01-25 02:00 pm (UTC)(link)
[ And it's getting weird. Because it was just supposed to be a stupid joke, he wasn't actually supposed to find out that Dave was seeing someone. He wasn't supposed to feel anything about it.

Too much, too much. ]


haha.

man i got you so good, dave.

:D


[ Overcompensating. ]

[personal profile] ex_inherit667 2012-01-25 02:02 pm (UTC)(link)
oh come on, dude.

[personal profile] ex_inherit667 2012-01-25 02:05 pm (UTC)(link)
no.
dave it's not that.
i just.

[personal profile] ex_inherit667 2012-01-25 02:07 pm (UTC)(link)
dave i don't wanna sit here and talk about this.
i don't want you saying sorry. i don't want stuff to be all awkward.
i just don't want to.
it's easier to pretend it's a joke.
it's easier than thinking it's real. i don't want to feel like this.
i'm not supposed to like dudes.
and i'm not supposed to like my best friend.
my in-a-relationship best friend.

[personal profile] ex_inherit667 2012-01-25 02:17 pm (UTC)(link)
and what you just said isn't?

[personal profile] ex_inherit667 2012-01-25 02:20 pm (UTC)(link)
no. and that's why it's unfair, because you're making asshole assumptions like you always do.
but whatever, if you want to believe your best friend is that much of a dick then i guess it's your prerogative.

[personal profile] ex_inherit667 2012-01-25 02:25 pm (UTC)(link)
you're so dumb.
i've thought you were the coolest person alive since we were thirteen, but do you think i know what the hell i want at that age? seriously?
denial's cool, i live with it a lot after that stupid fucked up game. ignoring feelings for you was just as easy, because you were still my best friend and i'm fucking terrified of the possibility of being anything but straight.
and i'm not okay with it. i'm not. i'm not okay with liking a dude, and i'm not alright with any of the shit at all that comes with it.
but that doesn't mean that i have to like watching you with some guy, and that doesn't mean i won't get stupidly jealous about it.
it just means that i have to shut up and deal and worry about whatever the hell it is i have going on in my head.
heart.
whatever.

like i said, forget it.

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